Donatella "Pie Hands"

It seems the sky may not be the limit for our esteemed diva, Donatella. Whilst keeping her manicured finger on the fashion pulse, Donatella has dipped her remaining sculpted fingers into other pies, which have resulted in millions of dollars profit for the house of Versace. Donatella has now launched a children's wear line "Versace Young", and is also designing jet, car and home interiors, accessories and other life style products.

Donatella has accepted her advisers' advice to reinvent herself in the cut-throat market, where she has altered her fashion lines to compliment the needs of her exclusive clientele. Donatella has begun taming the flamboyant clothing designs that once set her and the fashion house apart from the crowd. "I no longer recognize myself in that kind of woman,"she replied amongst rampid public interest in her latest endeavour. It was disappointing, as always, to hear her critics claim she had to restyle her line because Versace is proof that money can't buy taste. Readers, be assured that these claims are made by a petty few, namely homosexual men and barren women, who are bitter about their own failures in life, and use Donatella as their scapegoat. It is tragic, but fortunately our diva is too self-aware and self-assured to succumb to such cheap slander.

Dear readers - I am again in awe over Donatella's savy business acumen, wisdom and self-awareness. Is there anything she's not capable of? I doubt it...